I saw this statement by a guy named John Gottman:
“In the sea of conflict, men sink and women swim”.
With this in mind, we can understand what is happening in many marriages and relationships where the man appears to have become submissive.
Men are simply not as well equipped to deal with marital arguments. They are emotionally and physically drained by them. After the cycle has repeated itself a few times, most men will decide that they cannot win a war or words with their wife. Eventually they resort to silence and submission to their spouses; they become fearful of the “power of the wife”.
This submission may appear to be a victory for the woman, but this is not the case. Being submissive does not mean that a man is actually listening to his wife and agreeing with her; it is actually quite the contrary. He is simply avoiding a fight. Anything coming from his wife will be regarded as “just another annoying act”. The longer this continues, the more resentful and moody he will become.
This situation is very frustrating for both women and men. The husband hates his wife for her constant nagging and sulking. The wife hates her husband for his lack of back bone. She becomes unhappy with their marriage, and secretly dreams of a Prince Charming who will rescue her from the dysfunctional relationship.
What can be done about this?
It is necessary that men learn all over again what it means to be a man. Not an average man, but a real man. A real man speaks through his actions. He does not need to win any war of words.
