For most of my teenage life, my need to be liked overshadowed all my other needs. I was always trying to manipulate perception, adapting myself to receive validation. It was draining since very few people actually knew me—the real me—which is a prerequisite to liking me. I’ve learned it’s actually a good sign if there are some people who don’t accept or agree with me. Through my experience over the years, I learn that it’s okay to be disliked. Thus the reason I came up with this article i.e. 9 reasons why it is okay to be disliked.
I’m not suggesting that we should be rude, inconsiderate, or disrespectful. This post isn’t about disregarding other people’s feelings.
This is about releasing our stress about other people’s opinions on us.
So, what happens when you’re comfortable not being liked by everyone?
1. It allows you to be true to yourself. The biggest disservice you can do yourself is shapeshifting to please other people. It’s exhausting (even to watch) and, more importantly, pointless. No one will get to know who you really are, which will leave you feeling empty.
2. It gives you the power to say no. I believe people are good at heart. Still, it’s human nature to test each other’s boundaries. When you’re willing to risk being disliked, you’re able to say no when you need to. Your yeses and nos shapes your future, so choose them wisely.
3. You’re more comfortable exploring your feelings. Doesn’t it feel good to just be where you are without pretending for someone else’s sake?
4. You can freely express your thoughts. One of the kindest things you can do for someone else is listen without judging. You deserve that same kindness, but you won’t always get it. People will form opinions as you speak. Talk anyway. Let your words be kind but fearless.
5. It prepares you for greater success. Pick a popular Twitter user and look at their replies. Odds are they field their fair share of harsh comments. The higher you rise, the more attention you’ll receive, both positive and negative. A willingness to be disliked helps you deal with the added scrutiny.
6. It teaches you to offer kindness and compassion without expectations. It’s not difficult to offer compassion to someone who treats you with respect and kindness. What’s more valuable for your personal development, and to humanity as whole, is the ability to do what’s right because it’s right—not because you get something in return.
7. You can inspire other people. There is someone I know who has the uncanny ability to keep going even when others try to pull her down. I learn from her every day. To this woman, anyone who doesn’t appreciate her assertive, over-the-top personality is a reminder that she is unique and unafraid.
8. You can use your time wisely. If you want to be liked by everyone, odds are you’re spreading yourself way too thin trying to keep them all happy. We need to use our time to enrich ourselves and others instead of worrying about everyone’s perceptions.
9. You can choose to smile anyway. You could use your energy to make daily inventories of everything that’s wrong—the money you don’t have, the esteem you didn’t earn, the people you disappointed. Or you could commit to being your best, and then just sit back and smile. Life will always be a balancing act. Learn to walk your life in serenity.
“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown
So, it’s totally okay to be disliked. As long as we are being the best human being we can be i.e. always helping people in need, talk nicely to people, for example – we should not worry much whether we are being liked or not by people around us. 🙂
